Nahin saamne yeh alag baat hai
Mere paas hai tu mere paas hai
Mere saath hai mere saath hai..
It was 11:50 in the night. She was going to be nineteen in ten minutes now. She was waiting for the call. His call. It was a festive night. Outside the window, beside her bed, she could see her city decked up with lights for the occasion. She received the call at 11:54. He couldn’t let anybody else wish her before him of course. With a grin plastered on her face she heard him sing to her at the stroke of midnight. The crackers outside her house seemed to be controlled by him. What perfect timing! It just had to be the best birthday of her life. She knew it already..
Thirty years later, he woke up from his sleep. It was 11:54 in the night. Her birthday was in minutes. He’d sing to her again just like he’s been doing for so many years now. As he sang she smiled back at him, the way she’d always done, from the dog-eared photograph he’d preserved for so long now. It was raining outside. None of the festive spirit was to be seen tonight. The rain came down in pellets. He opened the creaking window. Warm droplets of water trickled down his face to meet the icy cold droplets of rainwater. The wind felt crisp and fresh against his skin. He sensed it immediately. She was very happy. Just as happy as he was with her. She was still alive. In all his senses. A freak accident couldn’t separate them. Never. He wiped his tears away.
P.S.: This is my first attempt at fiction writing for the blog. I started on this on a sudden whim today after reading some Twitter-sized-fiction on Twitter. Well, this wasn't exactly 140 characters. So it found a place in my ever dying blog. :P
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6 comments:
First of all,i'll have to blatantly admit that i have a bias for love stories(hehe ;D) and short stories as well... so,this might just not end up as a satisfactory "critique" of your latest attempt to revive your supposedly "on-the-verge-of-death" blog... but rest assured it'll be an honest one... Anyway,my initial perception on reading the post was just the feeling which short stories try to instill... a feeling of incompleteness... as if i wanted to know more about the characters,the times they spent together... how they fell in love and the exact way in which they were separated... but really,on second thought,this is what made the story even more worth a read... that it left so much unsaid... leaving all of that to the reader's imagination... and because i was able to mould the "complete" love story according to my own notions... the story suddenly seemed so very personal... close to the heart... i guess this would apply to everyone else as well... each would have a different picture... such engagement of the reader's consciousness is what makes any short story so popular... thats my opinion... now,according to me,the twitter-fictions which inspired you are often "too" short... and even the basis of the story is often sacrificed for the sake of the "tweet" protocol... ;) not that there aren't people who can weave magic even in such short space...but i'd rather say,your decision of making this one just the size it is, makes it all the more wonderful... it has just enough to engage the reader and let him find his own story... last,but not the least... the beautiful lyrics at the start really set a poignant tone which continues throughout the story... to sum up my humongous blabber, THIS ONE ROCKS(...the mind,the soul...and everything else :P)... And as far as your blog being dead is concerned,i guess its you who's responsible... we should really get to hear a lot more of your soliloquy than you feel like revealing to us at the moment... :D keep up the good work... and i'd be waiting for a prequel or sequel to this... or maybe a somewhat humorous story next... "our best songs are those of saddest thought" surely,but there are times when you want the lighter moments as well...
P.S. I don't need a signature... the length of my messages make up my signature style... whaddya say? tell me on twitter... :D
@Sap
Thankee so much. :D
The fact that you wanted to know how they got separated after reading the story tells me you've interpreted the story in a different way. :)
And. I'm too much of a lyadhkhor to keep my blog well fed. :P
P.S.: You know, your cawment be longer than the post! :D
P.P.S.: I actually ran a word count. ;D
Khub bhalo likhish :)
Ar likhbi na? [hurt look] :P
Beeeautiful...must say m surprised...such romantic stuff not expected from u Biju...good job :)
:)
lekh aro kichu ebar.
Onekdin toh holo.
Porikkhao toh shesh.
Excuses nei ar.
Merry Christmas!
Amar na lekhar excuse lage naki? :)
Compassionate Visitor(s)