Conflicting Feelings

I can’t stand up straight what with my head spinning like hell. But I still suddenly feel very happy. And sad.

A distant neighbour has chosen to play some beautiful Rabindrasangeet. I don’t understand why but these songs seem so pujo-like at the moment. Maybe it’s just in my mind. Because for all I know, it isn’t in the song. But the point is that I feel happy all of a sudden. A feeling I have only fleetingly known for quite a few weeks now. Images of chokkhudan are flashing across my mind. It’s amazing how even the thoughts of pujo cheer me up like this. In spite of the fact that I don’t believe in worshipping the Gods..

The weather though is extremely depressing. Foul winds and rain. I might have appreciated it at other times but I really can’t right now. It somehow, in some convoluted manner, reminds me that I can’t possibly be with the person closest to my heart, right now. Every disease would have become much less nagging if only I could talk to the person for a while. Mindless blabber would even suffice. Really.